As much as you like to crack up a joke or two about someone and have a good laugh at it, sometimes you find yourself on the other side. Nobody wants to be laughed at, but like it or not, that’s how it works. We have all been burned by a witty friend who knows how to throw good insults at people. You may not be able to change their behavior, but you can always learn how to avoid falling into their pitfalls of words. All you have to do is learn some good comebacks and throw them back any time they come with mean insults.
When we’re being insulted, our brains are looking for a way to defend itself with well-crafted comebacks, but since finding the right words can take too long, the joking time may be over. If the saying “You are what you eat” is to believed, then it’s simple. To make it easier for your brain to come with good and funny comebacks when somebody insults you, you should feed it with such. In this article, we offer you the best comebacks with potential to make all the mean insults backfire. Read on and you can proudly stand up against the most vicious jokers and trollers in town with our selection of comebacks and counter insults.
Counter Insults and Great Comebacks
- Don’t worry, you are a very special person and some day, a man worthy of you will come along… just as soon as the Satan create him.
- Even if I had the most highly-advanced piece of scientific equipment that allows me to see images of the atom, I still wouldn’t be able to find an interest in talking to you.
- Did you say something? Your face was repeatedly screaming “Wash me! Wash me!” so I couldn’t hear a word.
- I see your lips are moving, but I cannot hear anything else than “blah blah blah”.
- Here, a tissue to wipe out the left outs of the sh*t around your mouth.
- I Googled “Who Cares?” and my name didn’t show up, so shut up.
- I’m sorry to break it down for you, but I’ve received a call from
Copernicus and he didn’t agree that you are the center of the universe. - Keep talking, just give me a second to write one more reason on my reasons-to-die list.
- Does your brain feel like new? Because it seems like you’ve never used it.
- There was a time when I believed in second chances, but given the fact that you’re yet another disappointment in your family, I’m over it.
- I would like to insult you back, but the nature has taken all of the pleasure itself.
- You shouldn’t be concerned about those few pounds you’ve gained.
- Your body is anyway only the vehicle that carries your brain around… Oh, wait, that’s just a waste of food.
- I would gladly come with you, but I’m afraid that your red devilish horns will attract so many attention that I might commit a suicide.
- Let me check if I could see through my eyelids and listen through my headphones. I can’t. So, you were saying?
- I’d rather sit home alone while rocking back and forth while hugging my knees while movie is downloading than to be surrounded by freaks like you.
- I’m sorry, but in order for you to insult, I must first consider you as a normal, decent person. And I don’t.
- I may not be an astronomer, but I know for sure that the Earth revolves around the Sun, not you.
- You need to check some online stores and get yourself a life for free.
- I wish I were a dog and you a flower, so anytime you start talking, I’d just lift my leg up and refresh you.
- I’d slap you, but I support animal rights.
- I’m sorry, I have a lot of more important things to do than listening to your non-senses.
- Teenagers could learn a great lesson from you: to use protection.
- They called from the circus and asked for their monkey back.
